Saturday, December 4, 2010


It never ceases to amaze me, but once again, November flew by like a brisk Kansas wind.  It came, I had many cries, laughs, memories were made, and now it is gone.  I hate to say it, but I am so glad. 

November is a time to be thankful, and I am completely thankful for so many things, but it is also a time for me when I think about and miss Caden so much.  I wish that he would be able to join us in the festivities and fun times of cooking, meeting those relatives, hanging out with all the aunts and uncles, meeting new cousins, trying to stay cool in a hot grandma's house, and most of all celebrating all of the wonderful things that God has done for us over the year.

Last night, I went to a Remembrance Service that Agape Care Cradle held for the families that they served this year.  This was the first time that we were able to go since the year we lost Caden.  This was their 4th annual service.  It is hard for me to believe that they have been around that long and that we were part of the beginning, when this ministry was started.  I hate that there has to be a ministry like this, but I am so thankful that there is.  I honestly don't know how I could have healed without them.

Anyway, Tom and I went to this service with the intentions of seeing and talking with Shannon, the lady who walked with us through setting up Caden's memorial.  We also just wanted to show our support for what she and her ministry are able to do.  We can't show our support in the greatest of financial ways, but we can show up and let her know that she does touches people in a very real way during an extremely difficult time.

During the service, the pastor who spoke shared several things that touched me.  He talked about how God has used our babies to give us courage & strength to endure life here on earth without them.  I was completely overwhelmed and touched by that, because I see it in my own life.  I know that it is by no accident that God used Caden to strengthen me and lean on Him in ways that I never would have before.  I also know that the fear that I used to have about the smallest of things are not so huge for me anymore.  I also have felt that God has changed my priorities.  The things that once seemed so important are small in the grand scheme of things.  I guess that is what God has wanted me to see this year.  That no matter how much I miss Caden or how sad I start to feel, Caden is always a part of me and God is allowing his spirit to give me strength when I don't think I can go on anymore.  As I was listening to the radio this past week, I heard something that really puts my life these past 3 years into perspective.  You know that there is a saying or quote that God never gives you more than what you can handle.  Well, the person on the radio was saying that God gives us so much that we can't handle it without HIM.  That is so true!!! 


November started and ended for us with a couple of new additions to our family.  On the first of November, Jaycee got a new cousin, Ethan James Walker.  Over Thanksgiving break, we got to meet him.  He's a cutie, but then again, all babies are.  I think that I am just biased a little, because he is my nephew.  He has a great mixture of both my brother and Corinne, my soon to be sister in law. 

It was so fun for me, because it is hard for me to believe that just about a year ago, Jaycee was that small.  My how the time flies.  My brother and Corinne live in Lawrence, and I hope that we will get to see a lot of them as Ethan grows up.  Jaycee really didn't pay much attention to him unless he was crying.  She had a concerned look on her face when she heard him cry.  Maybe that means that she is going to have a caring heart.  I pray!!! Anyways, it was good to meet him and shower him with gifts.  We got him some little board books, a giftcard (mostly for diapers), and some old clothes that were given to us right before we lost Caden.  It is nice to know that they will be put to good use.

 My baby brother Brandon & my new nephew
Ethan James Walker

November also ended with Jaycee getting a new cousin.  My other brother Caleb and his wife Casey had a little girl, Eloise Anne Walker.  They live in the Chicago area, so we haven't had a chance to meet her yet, but I am definitely going to be sending up some of Jaycee's clothes for her to wear.  My brother has a little boy Everett, who is just 2 months older than Jaycee, so he doesn't have much in the way of girly things.  It is fun to shop for another girl.  Hopefully she will like some of Jaycee's hand-me-downs.  I can't wait to see pictures of her to come soon.


We got to do so many things in November that I couldn't capture them all, but here are some of my favorites.  Like a dingleberry, I didn't capture all the moments on camera, b/c I was trying to participate, but here is what I did get.

I got the bright idea of trying to make a Thanksgiving card with Jaycee.  You know the one with the handprint and feathers.  Yeah it was great fun!!!

Tom's aunt gave us this super fun table, and I decided to try to do some crafts with Jaycee.
Super fun!!!

Tearing paper. 
 One of Jaycee's favorite things to do.

Here is the finished product.
We gave these to Jaycee's grandma Walker & great grandma Froese.

 Thanksgiving dinner at great grandma Froese's house.
These are my cousins kids, Martin and Thomas. 
Jaycee thought that she was big enough to feed herself too.  Oh boy!!!

Fun Times with Mollie!!!

Our dog Mollie doesn't get as much attention as she used to, but we are trying to adjust and balance her and Jaycee's need together.  It is sometimes like having 2 kids, but Mollie is a little better at listening than Jaycee.

They are getting used to each other.
They both give each other kisses.
How sweet!!!

Mollie still just tolerates Jaycee, but loves it when Jaycee drops food for her.
I think Mollie gets the better end of the deal. 
Jaycee loves her and chases her all over the place.

Well, we look forward to celebrating what December and the Christmas season is really all about Christ's birth.  I can't wait to see what is in store for us this year.  There is never a dull moment around here.  See ya soon!!!


1 comment:

Courtm said...

I love your posts! God is so good! Jaycee is adorable!!