A couple of weeks ago, was a super busy week for us. Almost too busy, but in a way a blessing for my anxiety. With 2 Dr. appointments, garage sale for 3 days, a vendor event for my 31 business (I'll let you know how it went), Tom having to go to school two days, taking Jaycee to grandma's house, picking Jaycee up from grandma's, a night at the race track (Guy's Night), and Father's Day lunch, by Sunday, I was completely exhausted. Not to mention that Sunday's sermon at church was called Solitude. The main points of the message were that sometimes our lives are too hurried and we need to take some time to find solitude/ alone time with God to listen to what He is doing or going to do in our lives. I think that is what God is asking of me for the next several weeks. I will write about this topic in a later post.
I want to say that I truly believe that having that busy week was part of God's plan for our lives. I wouldn't normally think that God would want things to be so super busy, but it was a way to fight off the anxiety I was experiencing at the beginning of the week. I know that anxiety is not from God, and just maybe He allowed so many things to come into our lives unexpectedly last week that we didn't have time to think about our anxieties. You may have read about my anxiety in my last post.
Philippians 4:8 says: Finally brothers, whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, think about such things. A few years ago, I started to memorize this verse to help combat the anxiety in my life at that time. I made a list of specific things in my life that were true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. Then I would think about those things instead of the things that made me anxious. I know that anxiety is not from God, but is Satan's way of trying to control me and hold me back from what God really wants for me.
At my 33 week appointment, my Dr. wanted me to come in twice. Once for a regular check up and to answer any questions that I have. Which at this point, I'm never sure what questions to ask, I'm curious about delivery and when and what to expect b/c of issues I had with Jaycee. I also had a biophysical profile. This is basically a sonogram, but they have specific movement checks they do to make sure the baby is moving appropriately for how far along I am. I didn't get nervous about this until right when we got to the office and were waiting. The name biophysical profile scares me because I had a biophysical profile when I was pregnant with Caden, and that is when they found out that he was no longer alive. It was the absolutely most crushing time of my life, and those memories came rushing back, except for the fact that I was feeling this baby move a lot. I must have had a lot to drink before. The lady who did our sonogram was really great and talked about everything she was doing.
Since I was at 33 weeks into this pregnancy, I felt truly blessed that so many people were praying for us and that God knew we needed a busy week to keep our minds from the anxieties that tend to creep up at the most random of times. I honestly must say I was way top busy and exhausted to even think about my anxiety of being 33 weeks pregnant and how that is a little scary for me. From here on out, I feel like I can breathe a little easier, but still not completely free from it until we get to meet this little guy.
I have so much more to write about but will have to save that for another blog post.