These days Tom and I have been terribly exhausted. A couple of weeks ago, both him and Jaycee got really sick with this flu that is going around. It was a big ordeal taking care of both of them. I was trying to keep the house going and take care of them at the same time.
We have since recovered from the flu, but now it seems like Jaycee has decided to change up her sleeping routine. Just when we thought she was ready for more older kid stuff, she goes and changes everything that we were used to.
One thing that has made us incredibly exhausted is that she has decided that she needs to wake up at 4:00 am in the morning everynight. Not sure what is prompting this sudden urge to want to get up at that time, but it takes her a while to get back to sleep if she even does get back to sleep. I miss the days when she just went to bed and stayed there without caring what happened outside her door. I don't know what happened to her changing sleep habits, but they are draining me. I keep telling myself that Jaycee is a blessing, and she definitely is. I need to look at this season of life as just that a season. It won't last long, and how we decide to help Jaycee when we are at our end will only make us better parents in the long run.
I keep praying for an extra surge of energy to help me get through the day so that I can keep the house running, but my energy is completely shot these days. I try to give myself a break when I can't do anything else but just let Jaycee play or do something quietly while I rest b/c I haven't gotten the sleep I'm used to either. I feel so guilty about not engaging with Jaycee in some activities since I decided to stay home with her this year. I know that I need to give up on that guilt. I think that Satan is using these things to make me feel the guilt that I was never meant to feel.
I don't believe that God wanted me to continue to feel the burden of zapped energy when my nights are interupted and guilt when I can't be the mom and wife that I want to be b/c of lack of sleep and energy. I think that He wants me to go to take my cares and burdens to Him and allow him to use me in any way He feels is right at the moment. I know that I have much to learn about parenting, but my true example is God and I need to ask Him to help me know what to do when this extreme exhaustion hits.
I am hopeful that we will get through this phase and that things will even out eventually, and we will get back to things as they normally are.