Tom and I are now entering a new phase of our lives that is still a little scary and exciting at the same time. My hope and prayer is that this new baby will arrive into this world healthy. Each day I anticipate the time when I might feel something that lets me know he or she is alive and well. Today I had another Dr. appt and it was pretty good. My blood pressure was the lowest it has ever been while I am pregnant both with this new baby and with Caden. Some of you may not have known, but my blood pressure was really high during the last several weeks I was pregnant with Caden and part of that along with a cord problem is what caused Caden not to survive.
This time I am wanting Caden to be a part of celebrating our new baby, but I also have fears that I will seem like I am replacing him. I know deep down in my heart that I am not, and this pregnancy is completely different and that makes me feel better, but I haven't quite figured how to make things different for me too. Tom and I have talked about ways that we can celebrate the differences, but I'm not that creative yet.
I am still tired quite a lot which I hope will change, but even if it doesn't I know that it is for a good cause and I will enjoy every minute of it. We also today got the hear the heartbeat for the 2nd time. That was music to our ears. I am far enough along for them to be able to hear the heartbeat and that just eased my anxiety so much. My next appointment will be to have a sonogram and find out if the baby is a boy or girl. I keep saying that I don't want to know because I just want to celebrate that he/she is alive and well. However, Tom does want to know and said he will keep it a secret from me. I told him that means that he has to buy the baby clothes for him or her. That might be a challenge for him b/c he rarely shops for himself, but maybe it will be different shopping for his child.
We still get nervous anticipating for each appointment, and I have been seeing the doctor a lot more than I normally would for the fact that I am considered high-risk. I still have some fears that there will be some not so good news, but those moments are very few. I know that I have a vast array of friends and family praying for me and the baby. It makes me so happy to know that he or she is going to be so covered with prayers that I really don't have to worry so much. I am leaving it all up to God and I know that he has a plan for his or her life and ours too.
Well, Iwill hopefully keep you updated on how this baby is developing and how Tom and I are growing through the Lord's guidance too.